What in the world am I talking about now? I wish it was good stuff. Cancer, chemo, caring and courage...all in the foreseeable future, (and I'd like to run away from it all by sailing away on the four seas).
We've been dealing with the potential of my Mom's Cancer returning. And it appears to have come back. Not in the pancreas this time---but right behind the pancreas a tumor has been growing. Sigh. Sigh again. Ugh!! (If I were talking instead of writing I'd be making these noises as opposed to writing them---but you get the gist) It's been two and a half years.
So, now what? I'm still feeling sorry for myself---and am not sure what. I am trying to get a grip. But I know this much. With the same amount of care and courage, we're gonna take it on. Hearts full of love and hope and prayers. A part of me says, "Oh, not again!" (A big part of me).
The other part ( a small part) is saying, "all right...let's get to it...we can do this again!"
I feel more like wallowing away in my depression about this, but there's so much love and hope and answered prayers in my life. So many blessings. My Mom is the most courageous woman I know. Even when she didn't know what she was doing (like raising three kids when she was barely in her 20's!), she did it with so much love and strength. She always saw the bright side. A different perspective. The good and the beautiful parts of all people. Music and laughter, Joy and Humor. And chocolate! (The good C).
Anyway---I've been not wanting to mention it....but I write. It's what I do....ride and write. And with all the crummy rain...I've been writing more than writing.
The other good C in my future will be a trip to CALIFORNIA. Looking like June. I need a movie night (or three) with Mom.
Sigh....All the prayers and concerns and loving thoughts are welcome. You all made a very difficult time so rich. I will keep you posted.
So much love---Joni
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